Penny and Sheldon

Blonde, but no bimbo by May Seah

Kaley Cuoco may be the blonde bombshell of the average geek's dreams — especially after gracing the cover of Maxim last month.

But even though "dumb blonde" roles like the one she played in 8 Simple Rules and the one she currently plays in The Big Bang Theory associate her with that stereotype, Cuoco is no vapid Hollywood starlet.

On the geek-themed sitcom, her character, Penny, a buxom blonde waitress with dreams of making it big as a Hollywood actress, contrasts with the quartet of socially-awkward nerds next door.

Although Cuoco is living her character's dream, the 24-year-old proclaimed that she'd rather shovel horse manure than get caught up in the empty glitz of Hollywood.

Well, not in so many words, but horses were definitely involved.

"Someone might be looking at me and I'm thinking I have something on my face," said Cuoco to prove the point that fame wasn't something that concerned her at all. Her real life is spent on a ranch outside of Hollywood.

"I don't think about the show - the minute I leave the set, it's a completely different lifestyle. I get home and it's like, 'Are you going to help me with the dishes?' I have three horses and four dogs. I'm very involved in the animal world, so that's what keeps me grounded. I show horses. That's my favourite part of my life."

Really? Not the glamour of stardom and her adoring masses?

"This is not a real life. This is a weird little world," she proclaimed. "If I didn't have animals ... You get so sucked in and become obsessed with what you're doing, you don't appreciate it any more."

If you're wondering how she can be so blase about it, seeing as she got her start in showbiz at the ripe old age of six, Cuoco shared that unlike Penny, becoming an actress was never a lifelong dream - it was just something she felt comfortable doing.

"It's just another part of life," she shrugged.

"The minute you start taking it too seriously is the minute no one wants to hear what you're doing any more. Who wants to hear about your craft? It's boring. No one cares. It's stupid! I've never been in an acting class in my life. I'd rather kill myself. I don't want to learn about acting. It just is what it is."

Okay ... But mouthing off like that could be dangerous for her career, couldn't it?

"Oh yeah, I've gotten into trouble a couple of times," Cuoco said, smiling. "I've said certain things. But I don't care. Someone's always going to make a dumber remark than you did."

Is there a good part to being famous and successful, then?

Laughing, Cuoco replied: "It gives me an opportunity to have all those animals! You know how expensive it is to have these frickin' horses hanging around?"

Big Bang theory's Kaley Cuoco splits our atoms by Alison Prato

As Penny, the knockout next door on CBS's geektastic hit The Big Bang Theory, Kaley Cuoco is the lone hottie in a sea of dorks. An actor most of her life she somehow grew from child star to adult star without a single drug bust or sex tape.
I've talked to the self-proclaimed "terrible" driver as she navigated her way home from the Big Bang set.

Does being a bad driver mean that you've been in a lot of accidents?

I've had so many, I can't even count just yesterday I was driving along, and all of a sudden I hear this loud sound. I was like, "Oh, my God! What was that?" I totally knocked someone's mirror off their van.

Whoops

I did leave a note — I was very proud with myself. It said, "Hi! Sorry! Broke your mirror! Call this number..."

Did you give them your number?

Ha, well, it was my lawyer's number. One time I was driving a Vespa in the Dominican Republic with my Big Bang cast mate Johnny Galecki on the back like a little bitch. I ran us right into the wall, and he went flying. I almost killed Johnny Galecki. I'm dead serious.

Do The Big Bang producers think you're a liability?

I don't think the producers realize how much trouble I've been getting into. I want to take motorcycle lessons, but I don't know if anyone will let me at this point.
I'm just obsessed with doing things that make me feel wild and crazy.

Lots of people love The Big Bang theory, especially the geeks. Why are fanboys better than regular fans?

We have a different world of fans. There's something about this show that has brought out a group of people I didn't know existed. It's like nerd geniuses have come out of the closet by the thousands. Let's be honest: Our show's the biggest thing that's happened to physics in, like, a bazillion years. The scientists all have a voice now. When we tape our show, it's like a rock concert.

Have you ever had a bizarre encounter with a fan?

One guy in our audience had a T-shirt on, and he had taken my face and put it on the body of Princess Leia. I was like, "It's PeLeia, Penny plus Princess Leia." It was genius and scary at the same time.

You starred opposite sitcom legend John Ritter in 8 Simple rules. What did you lear from him?

John never did a take the same way twice. Thats why the audience was always peeing laughing. It was the most fun working with him, and I vowed that every set I was working on would be that fun.

Did he gave you any advice about the business?

Right before he passed away, he told me, "Never go on Howard Stern." When 8 Simple Rules came out, my character was this sexy 16-year-old vixen, and Howard used to talk about how my character was so hot. John would get so upset. I love that Howard was talking about me, and I have no problem with it, but if John Ritter had a problem, than I have to respect it.

You seem to avoid tho whole Hollywood "scene." Why?

I'm very uninvolved in the Hollywood scene. I might have been to a club once in my entire life. I'm the biggest homebody. I think I've been hungover one time, and I hated the feeling. I love being at home with the dogs. I wish I wasn't so pathetic. I fall asleep on the couch, no matter what, every night between 8:30 and nine. I am not exaggerating.

Would you ever date a guy who didn't like dogs?

Absolutely not. I was on a date with a guy a couple of years ago, and when he walked in the door, Zeus, the giant German shepherd I had at the time, ran up. The guy was totally annoyed and was like, "Eww, I'm gonna need a lint roller." I knew I was never gonna see him again.

Could you get with e guy who's not funny?

Not to put pressure on anyone but no. I'm not saying I'm hysterical all the time, but I have a dark and dirty sense of humor, and if you don't get it, it's not gonna work out. I will eat you alive.

Do you prefer dating older guys?

I've always dated older guys. I still do — I'm very attracted to older men, never anyone my age. I always felt, even in my teens, that guys my age were just so dumb, young, and immature. Guys are just a little behind girls.

Have you ever had an unrequited crush?

I'm sorry, but I usually get what I want. When I go for something, there's nothing that stops me. Nothing.

Have the boys at work given you any good dating advice?

Oh, God, what do they know? Absolutely not. They're all very protective and brotherly toward me. There was one extra recently who was kind of eyeing me, and Johnny was like, "We have to have him removed!" I'm like, "What's wrong with him looking at me?" Johnny was having a heart attack. I don't have any brothers, so it's kind of adorable.

Wait, they cock-block you?

I don't have much game, so there's not much to cock-block, but they are definitely very protective.

Are you seeing anyone now?

I'm not. I'm new single. I'm always the girl with a boyfriend. I love having a boyfriend, because I think I'm the greatest girlfriend in the world.

What makes you so great?

Because I'm awesome! I'm such a guy's girl. I love every sport. I'll go to any game any time. I can eat, I can drink, I can have such a good time with the guys. I'm just not a girly girl. I'm completely low-maintenance, and I think that's great for a guy.

We hear you play Ping-Pong on set in very little clothing to distract the boys. Has it helped your game?

I went to Amencan Apparel and bought hot pink shorts, a teeny-tiny hot pink tank top, pink knee socks, hot pink Converse, and a headband.
I haven't lost a game since I put that outfit on. I've got my boobs hanging out and legs showing. The guys cannot even concentrate. They're, like, sweating. They can't handle it. It's won me a lot of matches.

Do you ever regret not going to a normal school?

Oh, my God, absolutely not. I had the greatest childhood ever. I was friggin' 10 years old, running around on the set of Virtuosity with Denzel Washington, doing whatever the hell I wanted. I don't regret one second of it. High school prom? Screw that. I went to cast parties. They were so much better than the prom.